snob list

i’ve been reading through posts of the past a lot lately. a theme that occured to me (and thoroughly annoyed me) was reading about all of the foods i love.. so many mentions of “wonderful, delicious, amazing, irresistable” etc. i contemplated how infrequently i read any food writer talk about, or even briefly mention, foods they dislike.

i have begun a list.

passionfruit- it makes my mouth hurt and tastes like bile.

papaya- it makes my mouth hurt, tongue burn, and tastes like a sour tropical nightmare. i think i may be allergic though, so my opinion may be skewed.

starfruit- crunchy like an apple or pear, but flavorless and not even sweet. what’s the point?

white bread- reminds me of old styrofoam you find in riverbeds. sticks to roof of mouth. what’s that about?

grape jelly- are grapes even in that? i’ve eaten a lot of grapes before, and jelly has a taste of all it’s own.

tartar sauce- i don’t even know what to say here.

mountain dew- how can your mouth feel squeaky but be wet at the same time?

headcheese- if you know what this is, then you know why i don’t like it.

gummy bears- i want to taste fruit. why do they smell like fruit but not taste like anything?

quinoa flour- it’s bitter, brittle, and dense. i’ll avoid bread all together rather than try baking with this ever again.

mayo- i feel like the world would be different without it.. especially after seeing kids combine this with ketchup in the high school cafeteria to dip french fries in.

lean chicken breast- makes my teeth stick together! does anyone know why this happens? i’m going to research this right now!

raw onions- i had a very VERY bad experience when younger when i was an ice skater where i was forced by a security guard to eat an entire handful of them just before i went on the ice. OMG.

margarine and all butter replacements just eat the butter. seriously. this isn’t the 90’s.

sorbet- i don’t know why, it just rubs me the wrong way.

mechanically separated or processed meats- click here to see video with great sound track.

“con queso” dip- if it’s made from velveeta, don’t even get me started. i guess i also don’t like the chunks of salsa that float around in there, grosses me out a little.

so there you have it. see? i don’t like all foods. i am pretty finicky. actually, it looks like i’m down right stuck up! what a snob!


6 thoughts on “snob list

  1. I am so with you on the passionfruit, starfruit, papaya, headcheese (disgusting), quinoa flour and margarine. Papaya tastes like dish soap. I’d add celery and radishes to the list as well. The former has the consistency of plywood and the latter is just obnoxious in anything. And, of course, liver — surely the most vile substance on earth, and full of toxins to boot.

    • celery is AWESOME in soup. but, alone? why bother!? i’d rather drink a glass of water than endure a raw stalk of celery for it’s water content. i used to think i liked ants on a log, then i realized all i really wanted was the peanut butter and raisins. so now i just eat peanut butter and raisins.
      -and radishes… don’t get me started!

  2. I am told that starfruit is sublime in Japan, and tastes nothing like it does here in the U.S. We must get the super-underripe stuff. So, ya know, next time you’re in Japan, maybe give starfruit a chance.

  3. Wow- we have really similar dislikes in fruit! I’ll add cantaloupe to the list;) I’m not a fan of bleu-type cheeses. I’ve tried to like them and failed!

    I like REAL mayo and aoili, but anything made with rancid oil (pretty much all the store bought stuff!) is gross and Miracle Whip is a whole other level of gross!

    I have my moments of being grossed-out by ketchup, too. Depends what it’s on. Too-sweet BBQ sauce and sweet and sour sauce= yuck (and pineapple in the same dish as any kind of meat!)

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